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Good/bad manners

It's only a minor gripe but why do so many players not reply to a simple 'hello' when you start a game? There's even a basic template at the bottom of the chat box for god's sake!
If it were a OTB game, I'm sure my opponent would at least say 'hello' before starting.
Guess it might just be a sign of the times! As my old man once said, "manners cost nothing".
I played a few games on the phone app and it was only after a few games that I noticed there was a chat window in this game. I downloaded this game thinking it was just a game. Little did I know how massive this place is. Its just fantastic!
Dont get despondent, keep saying hello to folks, dont let a lack of responce wear at your good manners.
There is an option to turn off the chat window. Some people prefer to hide the chat, as people sometimes send disrespectful messages during the game.
Before the game I focus on if a move is made; after 10 seconds I assume that the opponent isn't playing and abort the game. During the game, I only focus on the board, and rarely on the time. I don't notice the chat box until the game is over.

I'm not trying to be rude, I just have a limited range of attention to spare. Another point is that with my ever increasing bad eyesight, the chat is getting harder to see. If I remove my glasses to read, I can't focus on the pieces.

Manners cost very little, but my convenience is more important.
Tbh I quite dislike the clickable chat buttons.
They already show some disrespect by design. They let the other guy know I am to lazy to type two letters: Hi
It is a form of automated norms, that I can not accept to answer in the same bad manner, by clicking a meaningless button. Further it is speciesism that there are no meow buttons implemented.

So I don't answer this and feel quite insulted when my opponent clicks those buttons. It shows how much a game with me is worth to my opponent:
One damn click. I'd prefer the silence, cause like this I can imagine a deep understanding via purrr chess, even if it is a jerk on the other side of the wire.

That of course changes when my opponent actually types hi or hello without the capital H. Then I do respond with a friendly meow.

The comparison to OTB is wrong as well. Once I did see a friend again after some years, who lives in an other country. We did not bother to even say Hello to each other, but sat down in the next coffeehouse and pulled out a chess board and started to play. Of course we would talk afterwards, but 1.e4 is the best Hello one can say. That goes as well for a completely unknown person. The character will be shown by the end of the game and there is time left to talk.
I can see why clickable chat buttons are weird for "Hello", but for gg, wp, etc I think they're good. The point of those isn't conversational, while "Hello" is, which makes that button seem weirdly inhuman somehow.

That being said, are the buttons the same in every language? Maybe the point is that everyone has the same button so everyone can figure out what it means, regardless of language. Even if that's not the case, I don't see it as disrespectful either way; it's just a button.

Specifically answering the original post, though, I don't mind when people don't talk. I get why they don't and I can respect that. It's fun when they do, though, especially over a few rounds of casual interspersed with a real conversation. It can almost feel like sitting across from someone in a coffee house, pushing wood across a table.
> It's only a minor gripe but why do so many players not reply to a simple 'hello' when you start a game? There's even a basic template at the bottom of the chat box for god's sake!

Many people are playing on a mobile device, where it's much less convenient and takes quite a bit of time to answer messages (and the template is not present).

> If it were a OTB game, I'm sure my opponent would at least say 'hello' before starting.

They would, but it's not an OTB game. The relationship that is established between two players randomly matched for a short online game is much weaker than the one established between two people seated at the same table.

Manners are not absolute, they are adapted to certain social contexts. When the context changes, the manners adapt.
>Tbh I quite dislike the clickable chat buttons.
>They already show some disrespect by design.

Inferring the respect received by an opponent by measuring the amount of input required to say hello seems kind of a stretch to me; I can't really put that much "feel" behind and H+I+ENTER compared to a MOVE MOUSE+CLICK with the same meaning behind it... if anything, is simply redundand

Having said that, on mobile is just too clunky, so I usually don't chat/reply regardless, while on PC I went my own personal route to make thinks a little more interesting, with mixed results ;)
I am focused on the game initially and just forget. I do however, thank a player for the game except if the behavior was poor, such as deliberately foolish moves, time wasting or abuse. So far on Li chess I have had very little of the first 2 and no abuse. If I can't rematch immediately, I apologise and offer a rematch at a later time. On Chess.com I turned chat off because a small but significant proportion of messages posted during the game were obnoxious and intended to put me off the game.
Just two little rants related to OTB chess.

I, when not ill, touch my nose about 3 times an hour and often rub my eyes during an OTB game. This makes me very aware of the germs transferred when shaking hand and my having to touch his/her piece when capturing.

There are social norms which are blindly followed by many people. Exchanging pleasantries and shaking hands are two of the best examples. If these exchanges are disingenuous, it is a form of lying. Which rudeness would you prefer?

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